The Art of Staying Cool

I don’t know why everyone makes such a fuss about modern art. In all honesty I think it’s absolutely awful. Basically just a bunch of ever so talented ‘artists’ patting each other on the back for being so alternative and desperately trying to take the number one spot in the ‘even my fellow artists barely consider this to be art’ category. It’s a fun game, if you think of it that way.

Otherwise, it’s simply hilarious. I toured a modern art gallery recently and I was holding in my giggles as I tried to picture what was going through the mind of the artist as they ‘created’ this stuff. The big showstopper piece was called ‘Frigid Soul’, and lucky me, the artist was there to explain it! Basically, she’d searched around Melbourne for high quality, well-rated air conditioning services. She ended up getting herself an air con unit that was top of the range, and had attacked it with a hammer as part of her ‘art’.

Hopefully your pulse quickened in the same way as mine…as you thought about how hot this summer has been, and what a horrible waste it is to take something that plenty of people do not have and reduce it to a trashy art piece. Anyway, the barely-functioning piece was sitting in a circle of fake ice, and a model had been hired to sit cross-legged with the cool breeze of the air con blowing on her overly-dramatic, frozen expression.

Even with the state of the unit, it made the room nice and cool. I’ll have to look up whoever makes them; we’ve been meaning to get new air conditioning. Melbourne is disgusting hot this time of year. In the gallery however, icy cool.

The piece was supposed to be representing how the cold winds of fate blow on the souls of tortured artsy types and cause them to freeze up in the icy gales of…I don’t know. Writer’s block. Bird flu. American politics. It was hard to follow. I personally realised deep within my soul that we need to find a trustworthy air conditioning repair company in Melbourne and have them come to our home. I’m sick of sweating every time I need to bake a cake.