I’ve come to the conclusion that my apartment has zero character. Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate my parents buying it for me. It’s just not what I’d have chosen for myself, given a say in the purchasing process. (Like, perhaps I’d have added a bit of parental affection into the bargain, but let’s not get into that.)
On the plus side, my parents are currently living in their villa in Portugal, which means they’re unlikely to be checking in on me and the apartment any time soon. This is essentially permission, in my book, to go to town with a DIY makeover that they’d never approve of if they knew about it.
For starters, the walls are way too crisp and white – not my thing at all. I want to roughen them up around the edges a bit, without actually damaging them (hey, I’m as much a fan of structural integrity as anyone). To this end, I’m thinking of going with some exposed concrete wallpaper. You can get this removable, self-adhesive stuff these days, and you can get it in these faux textural prints. Concrete, bricks, marble, crystal – you name it, you can make your wall look like it’s made of it.
I know what my mother and father would say – that I might as well be living under a bridge if I want concrete walls. They have literally no sense of style; post-grunge chic will never be on their radar. I can see them admonishing me for not opting for a floral wallpaper design. To be clear, I don’t mean a fresh, contemporary botanical look; I’m talking the kind of stuffy pattern my grandmother had on the upholstery in her study.
Those two are so hung up on tradition, I’m surprised they could bring themselves buy this brand new apartment. I’m pretty sure they got there only by virtue of its utter lack of distinguishing features. Seriously, it’s the ultimate white box.
Little do they realise that they’ve left me with the ultimate blank canvas for a neo-grunge masterpiece of a bachelor pad.