Commercial Cookery

I don’t see why I should be content with a regular kitchen, for normal people. I am not ‘normal people’. I’m a chef, and that doesn’t stop just because I’m not in the restaurant kitchen. I don’t care if it breaks the rules, i don’t care if there’s an issue of space…I’ll have my commercial goods, thank you very much. I’m used to dealing with difficult clients at high-class parties; I’m not going to be stopped just because my kitchen is a LITTLE bit smaller than the one at my professional caterer’s kitchen.

I was just there today, using my commercial wok burner to create a beautiful Japanese feast for a group of businessmen, followed by my commercial pasta machine to make ravioli from scratch for a wedding, and then my commercial charcoal grill to properly cook the tenderloin steaks for the barbecue dinner of a gourmet LAN party, and I thought…all of these powerful commercial goods, and my kitchen at home is so bare and weak? Yes, I know I don’t actually do my main work there, but I DO cater for large crowds of people at my dinner parties and my oven just feels so weak and pathetic. My deep fryer, good for nothing but a handful of chips for two. My steamer, a pitiful specimen that could never cope with a full-grown salmon, fresh-caught from the docks of Copenhagen and express-shipped in.

Unacceptable. Utterly, truly, unacceptable. The food I prepare at home is just as important as that which I prepare for paying clients, even if they’re paying me exorbitant amounts. Where’s the law saying a commercial steamer must be in a place of business? I’m…going to check, because I don’t want to be culpable for burning the house down. But if there’s no restriction, then I’m filling my kitchen with commercial goods, pronto. Take some of the bathroom, slice up the lounge, it’s fine. Just leave the dining room…