Smartest Insoles Ever

Dark science is all well and good (or bad), but can we at least get a decent coffee machine in this place? None of us are allowed to leave due to being clinically insane and extremely dangerous, and I get that, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a caffeine hit. We can’t exactly just go along to Starbucks and get a vanilla latte any time we like, and we’re not allowed to receive goods from the outside world without a thorough quarantine and vetting procedure. The coffee would definitely be cold by the end of seven days. And thus…a coffee machine that works isn’t much to ask.

And here we are doing great things for the field of podiatry, as well. We’ve been asked to create a special kind of fitted semi custom orthotic that’s supposed to be a one-size fits all deal. Basically a sliver of gel that you fit into a shoe, and it’s programmed to confirm to whatever a person needs. We’re making some great progress as well! The prototype feels like you’re running on a cloud, and it has the added bonus of absorbing foot odours and making it smell like a rose garden down there. No, really…the gel is rose-garden scented. This can even prevent the spread of foot fungus because of its antibacterial properties.

The only problem so far is that this particular type of smart gel orthotic isn’t particularly…uh, sustainable. Like, the ingredients are a bit controversial. You don’t want to know where they came from, sans the scent which we got from rose extract. So at this point the only way we can revolutionise the field of arch support insoles and reduce foot odour is by finding a suitable replacement that does most of the same things. But as I keep saying, dark science is efficient science. Ethics just get in the way of progress, I tell you.