I love messing with my employees. It’s just so fun to tell them one thing, then pull the rug out from under them without any explanation whatsoever. Of course, I make sure it’s all above board, checking that I’m not in breach of any HR rules or whatever. I wouldn’t want to get in any trouble for my pranks. It’s all in good nature and keeps the employees on their toes. If they get too comfortable, they won’t work as effectively. That’s a proven fact. Sometimes I’ll tell someone they’re having a surprise performance review, then regularly reschedule it, and then eventually I’ll just tell them the whole thing was a joke. Everyone loves it. And because I do all the right things, like ensuring I know how to calculate annual leave, I can rest assured that I’m not pushing it too far.
In my industry, it’s super important that the employees are always alert, which is something most of them don’t understand. What if someone calls up in desperate need of paper that we can sell them? We wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity like that because Tristan was having a nap at his desk. That’s why I do things like throw mandatory dance parties in the conference room, but then cancel them once everyone arrives. The employees are always complaining, but the HR consulting business in the Melbourne area I get advice from says I have nothing to worry about. If the employees don’t like my style, they can go find a job elsewhere. I could run this paper company all on my own if I needed to. I don’t need their help!
That’s it, I’ve decided to fire my entire staff. They’re all super ungrateful and don’t appreciate my managing style. I could sell all this paper completely on my own. Besides, this way I won’t ever have to give annual leave or a pesky pay rise. I’ll take all the profit for myself, and when I’m living in my mansion, they’ll all regret complaining to me about my leadership style.