The Place Isn’t Dark Enough, Man…

Our band is in crisis. Like, our latest crisis. This comes after the dramatic revelation that Garry was going out with the best mate of a girl who Leo used to date, and he hadn’t even asked permission. After that schism, it turned out that Will had secretly been listening to Classic FM behind ALL of our backs, and we had to stage an intervention. Sorry, mate…if you’re going to be part of Ebony Oath, the greatest upcoming rock band in all of rock history, the band that’ll bring rock stars back into the world in a big way, you need to be devoted to the cause.

And now we find out that the place where we’re going to be shooting our next music video does NOT have tinted windows. Like…what. What even. This is even worse than when we lost the battle of the bands to the Liquid Scorpions. I was promised that Melbourne’s best commercial tinting people had been and gone, and the place was just the perfect level of both tinted and abandoned for our needs. The song is pretty dark, you know, man. It’s talking about a relationship, but get this…it’s not a GOOD relationship. Like, they break up in the final verse. It’s pretty woke and stuff, so we needed all the windows to be tinted so that it represents, like, the darkness in everyone’s hearts and how everyone is secretly just out for number one, and stuff.

Maybe we can get our deposit back? Like, it’s totally stupid that we had to pay the council just to use a building that no one is using, for about a week, in the middle of the community, where we’ll be making awesome rock music the whole time. They should be paying US. It’ll increase tourism and stuff. Like, we should get a grant so that we can get some really good office window tinting, Melbourne has a ton of professionals in that area. They can do up this abandoned office building that no one will ever use again, that’ll be knocked down in a week, so that we can film our music video. And when it gets a billion Me-Straw hits, we can pay them back. Sounds fair, right?