The Orb Revolution is Here

You know what would shake things up?

Orbs. I mean, if we took all cars, and turned them into orbs. Think about it for a second. Impacts would be a lot safer, because it’s easier to protect someone inside a spherical object than a rectangular one. Even if there was a collision, it’d be much easier for the balls to just bounce off each other like snooker balls. What we’re looking at here is a total revolution of all sorts of driving, and all it would require is for people to give up on this outdated notion of cars being the shape they are right now.

See, we’re all married to the classic shape, but those times are over, man! I already went along to my nearest auto mechanic in Ringwood and showed them my presentation, using my flannel-graph and everything. They seemed impressed, I think. I only had a few minutes, because I wanted to go around to every single mechanic in…well, as many as I could find in Melbourne, and beyond. As soon as I present my ideas for positive change, I really think they’ll start to…snowball.

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Yeah, so, anyway, specifics. Brakes were an issue at first, until I realised…the age of brakes was over. Just pad the orbs, and they can bounce off of things forever. Padding will be quite necessary anyway for making sure that the person inside doesn’t get turned into soup from the act of rolling down a hill. However, I otherwise think that mechanics and the like will still exist in normal form. They’ll just have to get used to servicing orbs instead of normal cars, but otherwise, totally the same.

“Excuse me friendly¬†Ringwood car servicing professional, my orbs isn’t rolling as fast as it should. Would you be able to render assistance?”

That’s how it’ll be. You roll on into the auto-repair shop, roll on out…roll everywhere, really.

-Dyson